I have always been a people pleaser. I have never been able to handle being told I have done something wrong, being embarrassed or knowing that someone is mad at me. I can remember when I was around 7 or 8, my family was over some friend's house for dinner. I touched their t.v. nob and my dad yelled at me in front of everyone. He apologized to me for yelling at me but I was hysterical. I could not be consoled. He had to take me outside and walk me around until I could calm down. My children are the same way.
Still today I want people to like me. I get a sinking feeling inside my chest when I know someone doesn't like me. I have always been the friend who tries to tell you what you want to hear. I listen more than put my two cents in and empathize as much as I am able. But as I have grown in my relationship with the Lord and my friends I have really tried to speak the truth...in love. I might not always say the right thing the right way but I am tired of trying to please everyone, because I can't. It hurts too much when I try so hard to do everything right and still do or say something wrong to offend someone. It is impossible to be perfect. Only one walked on this earth perfect and blameless and he still was mocked, beaten, rejected and scorned.
Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy. Proverbs 27:5-6
My husband is good at always telling me the truth exactly when I don't want to hear it. I know of course that he is right, but still I tend to get defensive. After I have had time to think and clear my head I am always so thankful for his wisdom and insight. He loves me or else he would not tell me what I don't like to hear. I have learned a lot from him.
I tried to speak the truth into someone's life recently. They didn't take it well. I might not have said it the right way but I know my desire was to speak truth into their life and not tell them what they wanted to hear. The words I heard back... hurt. I bemoaned what I had said at first and apologized. This is why I have always steered clear of saying what I felt was true, because it's hard. It's hard to have people you love reject you and think badly of you. It's hard to be the bad guy. It's hard to walk this path to calvary, but it is the only way.
Are you afraid of speaking the truth because of the consequences? I know I still am but I would feel worse if I didn't. If we don't speak the truth...who will?
"Instead speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ." Ephesians 4:15 NIV
I don't want to stay that little girl afraid to do anything wrong or have anyone mad at me. I want to fear the Lord, speak the truth in love and grow and mature...becoming more like Christ.
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