When nothing goes as planned
I like to think of myself as a very flexible person; think Elastigirl. I honestly don't always mind last minute get togethers, set times being changed, plans being canceled. But I am finding what I think I am and what I really am are quite a bit different. I have learned to roll with the punches a lot better then I used to, but many days I get bent all out of shape when things don't go as planned or as I think they should.
This morning I decided to get the kids out of the house and take them to the beach. My plan of attack was that they would be all worn out from the beach and crash when they got home; which they usually do. I was looking forward to some nice quiet time to read, write and catch up on some laundry. To my surprise and dismay neither of my nappers: Luke and Simeon, fell asleep. I gave them baths, fed them, read to them and laid them in their beds; but no. There were no shut eyelids or chubby cheeks fanned by long eyelashes, no chests rising and falling with deep breaths, just 5 kids all wide awake; still in need of my attention.
Of course now, after a lot of tears and tantrums from being over tired, Simeon is crashed on the couch and Luke is on my bed after nursing him and slowly inching away from him one body part at a time. Which you know means that they will now be up till midnight. What really gets me is that no matter how hard I try to implement good routines and plans they just don't always work.
Sometimes I underestimate how much I look forward to my deserved time by myself. I get up early but Luke wakes up early too, I put him in his crib and let him cry it out but he keeps making himself throw up, I feed my kids a delicious and filling meal but they are still hungry an hour later. This is when I start to lose it and wonder why I can't get a break?? I try so hard to put their needs above mine, to make the extra effort to have time by myself when they are asleep, to multitask and prioritize.
No matter how much I plan, scheme and strategize to get my needs met while also meeting theirs, there are going to be times when I have to gracefully let go of what I have envisioned taking place. It's not always easy and most of the time I am a big baby when I don't get my me time but I am slowly learning that it's okay. I will be okay. I will be okay if I don't get that quiet time I was so longing for. I will be okay if I don't get to go running or workout. I will be okay if I don't get to write all the thoughts and blog posts swirling around in my head. Yes, I feel great when things do go as planned and I do need my me time... but it shouldn't determine my attitude towards my children who just need me.
I have learned the most valuable lessons of my life when things haven't gone as I have planned. I am so thankful for those lessons, though usually not during them. It's easy to act gracefully when things go according to plan but not quite so much when they don't. Obviously God knows I need a lot of work in this area because he keeps changing my plans. I hope I have showed some improvement but I am totally aware that I don't always respond as I should in certain situations. I can get easily frustrated when I can't find something I am looking for. I can lose my patience and yell at my children when they don't listen. I can say things without thinking when I am lacking food or sleep. I can whine and cry when things don't go my way.
Things didn't go as I planned today. I didn't have the best attitude or respond in the best way but I am thankful that God's grace was there for me today and will be there for me tomorrow.
If your day didn't go as planned either, take heart mama...God's grace is there for you too.
"Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21
"My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9(NIV)
Do you freak out when things don't go as you have planned?
Linking up with these great link parties: Thriving Thursday, Grace and Truth , Faithful at Home Fridays, favorite things friday, Mama Moments Monday, Words with Winter, Looking up Link Up, The Art of Homemaking Mondays, Tuesday Talk
Oh Rebekah! God is having His way in you! I remember those days. I could NEVER get mine on a schedule that lasted more than 3 days. I think the schedule/routine thing might be a myth to make motherhood easier. My kids are teens now, so things a A BIT easier, but I still have to be flexible. Like when I'm exhausted and want to go to bed, and my teen wants to talk!
ReplyDeleteVisiting from grace and truth.
Yes, I think you are right! Nothing is ever predictable. So thankful for God's grace now when my kids are small and for when they get older and have different needs! Thanks so much for stopping by!
DeleteI try to stay calm and go with the flow, but I definitely loose it pretty quickly when I can't anticipate what's going on or how to deal with the changes!
ReplyDeleteI understand, it can be hard!
DeleteOh, I remember such days. It was exhausting. Only late in the evening, I had my rest and my me-time.
ReplyDeleteGod knows how precious you are. He loves you. He is our peace and our helper. Let us trust in Him.
Amen! Thanks for your encouragement and for stopping by!
DeleteI've had to learn to just give up on the scheduled "me" time in order to avoid the constant disappointment. There have been times that I have been up two hours earlier than my little ones in order to have that much needed quiet time only to hear their footsteps coming down the hallway just minutes after my alarm rings. Motherhood is an endless pouring of one's self, a constant refining in growing a servant's heart. Christ laid it all down for us, and maybe it is in these trials that we can learn to be more like Him. ;) I have found that my "me" time never comes when I least expect it, but it is a much needed gift that arrives at the most unexpected and necessary of times. I hope you get your gift of time soon. Blessings! *I'm glad I found your post on Faith Filled Friday. ;)
ReplyDeleteSo true, I constantly have to be reminded that my life is not my own! When we choose to die to ourselves God always gives us more than we need and yes I have been blessed with some quiet time this week by myself:) Thank you so much for commenting!
DeleteSo true - and so encouraging! I've been learning that with a toddler, not much goes as planned. I've been getting lots of lessons in flexibility and grace lately. :)
ReplyDeleteyes, we have so many lessons to learn!
DeleteHey Rebekah,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing such an honest and insightful post today. You have got your hands full. I don't think I felt as squished, loved or as tired as when my kids were in those toddler years. My 22 year old son can still bear hug me to death. And, my 20 year old daughter still likes to sit in my lap. But, then they go and do their own thing.
I can assure you that these days will pass quickly, much more quickly than you might think. And, you will have many seasons ahead where you will get everything done and have much time left over!
Praying that God will bless you with incredible grace and strength today. And, praying those little guys will take long afternoon naps!
And, I'm glad to find your site via the Me, Coffee and Jesus link up~
Blessings,
Melanie
Thanks Melanie! I am getting more conscious every day at how fast the days are going! Even though these days can be overwhelming at times I truly love my crazy sweet little ones!
DeleteI know I can get cranky and lose patience when things don't go as planned. I try to work on those things...to roll with what life gives me and be happy no matter what happens. Easier said than done though :-)
ReplyDeleteNo, its not always easy but at least we are trying!;)
DeleteSometimes yes, getting better as I get older, but still, depends on how bad I wanted those plans to begin with to happen. Very honest here, Love it. From Tuesday Talk Link Up party (co-host).
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your thoughts Michelle!
Delete"I will be okay if I don't get to write all the thoughts and blog posts swirling around in my head. Yes, I feel great when things do go as planned and I do need my me time... but it shouldn't determine my attitude towards my children who just need me." This really spoke to me. I can also be a big baby when I don't get my alone time or things have not gone as I planned or envisioned. Thank you for this encouraging post. Keep up the good work, mama!
ReplyDeleteThanks Moriah! That means so much!
DeleteThanks Moriah! That means so much!
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