When the tears won't stop

Friday, March 25, 2016


I believe that everything God brings into our life is for a reason. Even hard things.We might not realize it at the time but they are most likely answers to prayers.

Every day I pray that God would draw me closer to himself and use me to draw others to him. I have also been asking God to help me be a better friend. God has been answering my prayers lately but not in the way I expected. Most days I love getting into the word and seeking the Lord. But when I am experiencing a hardship there is an urgency that I don't normally have to seek after God. I am desperate to hear from him and have him comfort me.

This past week God decided to answer my prayers. He completely brought me to the end of myself; as in...I was an emotional wreck.  (I know what you are thinking and no, it was not that time of month;p Believe me that would explain a lot as there are many times when I am crying and I can't even explain why!)

Some hard circumstances occurred one after the other that triggered something in me that was not pleasant. I felt like I was being spiritually attacked. All I could think about were these hard things that I and my loved ones were going through. Some have been going on for years and some are new. It was just too much for me to handle. I couldn't process it all.

As I thought of all that was ahead of me and those I love, plus my responsibilities as a mother, wife, daughter and homeschooler; I quickly became overwhelmed. I felt myself sinking into a pit of despair. I literally could not. stop. crying. You know those kind of tears and sobs that no matter how hard you try to control and stop but will not be stopped? That is the kind I had. I am the kind of person that can not muster up a tear to save my life or seem to have an unending source of tears welling up inside me.  This was a case of the latter.

Usually when I am going through a hard time I can cry out to the Lord...and my husband, and get back to a good place. Even though I did cry out to God and my husband, I continued to feel so distraught and alone. I felt so desperate to share with someone who understood what I was going through. I am finding that though I want my friends to reach out to me when they are going through a hard time, it's hard for me to do the same. I am afraid I will be burdening them. I am afraid that they won't understand. I am afraid that I shouldn't be upset about these things when others are going through much worse.

Though it felt against my nature I did reach out to some close friends. Thankfully they listened and prayed for me. I am so blessed to have them in my life.(You know who you are;)

In the past I have had some friends go through some really hard things. Sometimes my response to them was less than gentle and gracious. I would think, "Why couldn't they get it together? Come on, just suck it up. Everyone goes through hard things."

Even though I have felt this cloud of oppression over me before, it can be easy to forget how it felt to be in that dark place. Sometimes no matter what you do, you just can not pull yourself out. I believe that part of the reason God allowed me to go through this was to give me empathy for those who are going through the same things. Yes, I had to fight to get out of this funk, stop feeling sorry for myself and worrying about my loved ones. I had to fix my eyes on Jesus and off of the circumstances. I had to focus on the truth of God's word and his promises. I had to get into his presence through worship and praise, but I didn't do this in my own strength. As I cried out to the Lord, I know he enabled me one step at a time to climb out of the muck and the mire. And I know that those praying for me helped me to lift my head up again.

The biggest comfort to me through all of this is knowing that Jesus is able to sympathize with our weaknesses.

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every way has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4: 15-16 ESV

And that he shed tears when he was in distress, weeps with us in our hard times and knows every tear that we shed.

"You keep track of all my sorrows.You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." Psalm 56:8 NLT

"Jesus wept" John 11:35

Also to know that I am not the only one to experience anxiety and emotional breakdowns! Just look what David says:

"Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have given me relief when I was in distress. Be gracious to me and hear my prayer!" Psalm 4:1 ESV

"I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping. My eyes wastes away because of grief; it grows weak because of all of my foes. Depart from me all you workers of evil for the Lord has heard the sound of my weeping." Psalm 6:7-8

Our lives here on earth are not going to be devoid of suffering, trials and tears. We can not deny our emotions and act like everything's okay, when it's not. But we can trust in the one who bore the ultimate suffering of carrying our sin and shame to the cross. Not only did he experience immense pain and humiliation for us, but he was separated from his Father. Though he asked the Father to take this cup of suffering from him he said, "Not what I will, but what you will."

Because Jesus was separated from God for a short while we have been united with him forever. 

Whatever you are experiencing, know that God is with you and will never leave you.

You are not alone.

Even in the deepest darkest valley... he is there.

When you can't see through all the tears...he is there.

When you have nowhere to go...he is there.

When no one else understands...he is there.

When you can't carry your burdens anymore...he is there.

I am so thankful that I was able to lay all my burdens down at the cross this week and experience the weight of all my anxiety, fear and worry lighten. I know that this will be a continual process in my life, but I am learning to trust in his goodness and sovereignty... despite what I feel and despite my circumstances.

Are the circumstances of life weighing you down? 

Have you ever experienced those never ending tears?

Do you ever feel like you are an emotional wreck or experiencing a break down??

If so please cry out to God and reach out to trusted friends who can pray for you and just be there for you. I would love to pray for you also if you want to reach out to me:)

If this is not the case for you but you know someone going through a hard time, reach out to them. Even if you can't understand, just by listening and praying for them you are being the hands and feet of Jesus.

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep" Romans 12:15 ESV

As we celebrate the death and resurrection of our Lord and Savior this weekend, let's remember that he is able to sympathize with our weaknesses, wants to help us in our time of need... and dry all our tears!


Linking up here!

19 comments:

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  2. Love your post, Rebekah! Thank you for sharing your heart and being honest and real. I know what you mean about when things feel like a spiritual attack. I've felt that lately, and my women's group is currently doing The Armor of God Bible study. Great stuff! I'm your neighbor this week at Missional Women. Blessing to you and have a beautiful Easter! PS I will be sharing this :)

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  3. Thank you for sharing your heart here! I always appreciate people who are real and honest because I think other people long to be understood and know that they are not alone. I've had those moments too when my own personal disappointments mixed with my burden for the sorrows of others weighed my heart down. Having Jesus to hold onto during it brings hope and peace. I'm so sorry you went through such a hard time. I'm glad you had friends to lift you up in prayer.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words. It's not easy to be vulnerable but I believe it's the only way we can be real with each other. So thankful for the body of Christ and for Jesus in these times!

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    1. Love you too! Thanks for being a friend;)

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  5. You hit the nail on our head. Jesus is different than and supreme over all other gods because He suffered for us and understands all our hurts. Taking a moment to pray now that He will heal yours!

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    1. Yes, it's so comforting to know that he understands what we are going through! Thank you so much! God is truly healing my heart!

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  6. Such a great post, Rebekah. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. It makes the rest of us feel normal when our friends are transparent with the realities of this world. I hope that you are doing well. Glad to be connecting with you this week. Have a great week!

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    1. It's not easy for me to share these things but I know that others must also go through times like these also! Glad I could help you feel normal;) Have a great weekend!

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  7. When Moses was up on the hill praying during a battle, there were times when he could no longer hold up his arms in prayer - when they were tired and out of strength, the Israelites started to lose. But whenever he raised his hands again, they would start to win. So, Aaron and another man helped Moses hold his arms up. This is friendship. This is what your friends have done for you. To have friends who point you back to Jesus is a treasure indeed.
    Thanks for linking up with Grace and Truth.

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  8. My heart just hurt reading this Rebekah. Thank you so much for sharing these very real feelings. Friends and prayer mean so much - and like you said, having that cross to lay our burdens down in front of is such a precious gift from the Lord.

    Thanks for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop).

    Wishing you a lovely day.
    xoxo

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    1. Awww... thanks Jennifer. I hope others can be encouraged when they are feeling the same! Yes, so thankful for the cross!

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  9. Hi Rebekah!

    I found you through the 100 Happy Days linkup. Thank you for sharing from your heart. Your words are so heart felt and I believe they will serve as a source of comfort and strength to others. I"m so sorry for all of the hurt and pain that you experienced, but as you said...all of the hurt and pain we experience are for a reason. Thank you for that reminder. I really needed that.

    Blessings,
    Tiffiney
    WelcomeHomeMinistry.com

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    1. Thanks so much for your kind words. They mean a lot to me. Yes, I know that none of our trials are in vain if we learn and grow from them. I pray that God uses them for his glory to encourage others.

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  10. I know what you mean, Rebekah. I have prayed to the Lord for friendships as well, but I also have a hard time letting people in when I am going through things. It is wonderful you were able to reach out to friends and have them be there for you and pray for you. I am praying for you as well and I am so glad you shared this honest post with #SocialButterflySunday! Hope you have an amazing weekend :)

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  11. Beautiful, Rebekah! Isolation is such a tool of the enemy of our souls. I am thankful for my praying sisters who stand in the gap for me on difficult days. Praying for you and your family today. Hugs

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