It's okay to tell God how you are feeling about motherhood

The past couple of months we have had one sickness after the other. Just when I thought it was safe to take a deep breath of relief we would get struck again. One of the hard things about having a big family is that once one child gets sick, the rest usually follow suit.

Not only did ALL the kids get the stomach bug, but Josh and I did also. That was a doozy. It looked like we were living in a war zone. Sick kids lying all over the couch, towels and bowls everywhere and moaning and groaning coming from everyone. It was a sight to behold and one that I don't want to repeat any time soon.

About a week after that episode, Luke somehow got croup. He had it pretty bad, but thankfully we got him to the Dr. and on medicine. Not long after, Simeon came down with it and then Israel had a slight form of it.

I hate seeing my children sick. It breaks my heart. Even though they seem to be constantly sick, I am so thankful that they are truly very healthy children. I have to admit though that I don't like the extra long nights and crankiness that these childhood illnesses bring. I tend to get pouty when some of my well laid plans get thrown to the wayside. 

Though I have come to love being home; I also enjoy getting out, having time by myself and time to socialize with friends and family. As the kids were getting better last weekend, I was really looking forward to getting out of the house for a long run and meeting up with some of my friends. 

As I told Josh my plans, he reminded me of his...he was going hunting for the whole weekend(Fri-Mon.) He had told me ahead of time but I totally forgot. I just about crumpled to the floor in my misery. NO! It couldn't be. It was not fair. All the thoughts of how I should be the one getting away started to swirl around in my mind. But I knew Josh was really looking forward to getting away and he also needed a break after a very long week of work and being up with babies also.

As I started to give in to my feelings of frustration and mopiness; I cried (literally) out to God to help me have a better attitude. I knew I needed to get into God's word and have him transform my mindset. It's hard not to give into my emotions in that moment. It is not easy, but...

When we choose to choose joy...he enables us to experience it despite our sinful flesh and situation.

I was planning to have a big ol' pity party and wallow in misery while Josh was gone but God supernaturally lifted my gaze to his and gave me his grace to see that what I really needed wasn't time by myself, a break, quiet, relief or health...but him. 

I am so glad I opened up Gloria Furman's book "Treasuring Christ When Your Hands are Full"

This is what I read:

" When you feel desperate for relief, it's a reminder that you are desperate for God's grace."

This spoke volumes to my heart and helped transform how I was thinking and reacting. Later on I also came across Gretchen's instagram post (From Life Lived Beautifully) Here is a portion of it:

"Mary Kassian once said 'A weak woman lets her emotions drive her mind. A woman of strength makes her mind drive her emotions.' In order to drive our emotions, we have to live by what we know. This we know: God is for us, God is with us, and Christ has equipped us. "I know" statements rescue us from the downward spiral of negative feelings. Truth trumps feelings."

Oh how I needed to hear these words of truth at that moment. God is so faithful to give us the grace we need, right at the moment we need it. I want so much to grow and mature and be a better wife and mother. I know it's only by being more like my Savior that I can accomplish this. 

How has your month, week or day been?

Are you struggling to get through the day, with little ones who need you every second? 

Are you in a situation that is crippling your joy?

Have you been so busy caring for your loved ones that you are barely able to come up for air?

Are you overwhelmed by all that is on your plate?

Are you tired of giving into your emotions? 

I am right there with you!  I am such an emotional person. It is SO hard for me not to give in to my feelings. I feel things very deeply. It is a blessing and a curse. But by God's grace I am learning to lean on him and choose joy...despite my feelings.

I feel so blessed that I get to stay home with my children. I truly love it. I feel selfish and spoiled admitting how much I struggle some days when there are so many going through truly horrific and hard things in the world. But I can't pretend that I don't struggle and have hard days. I admit that I often lock myself in my room or bathroom and let those tears and emotions flow that have been pent up.

If you come away with anything from reading this, I want you to know it's okay to tell God how we are feeling, he already knows. It's okay to vent to him even if we know we are so blessed.

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? I the Lord search the heart and test the mind..." Jeremiah 17: 9-10

I always feel so much better when I have a good cry and share what I am going through with my husband or a close friend. The problem is when I let those feelings overtake me and steal my joy. It's not okay to poison our homes or others with bad attitudes and diluted perspectives.

Whatever you have been going through in motherhood... in life; know that God cares about our feelings...he created our hearts, but he has given us power through his son to fight against our fleshly feelings... that are not glorifying to him.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" Psalm 139: 23-24

God is able and is willing as we give him our hearts, to take our negative, sinful feelings and emotions and replace them with his heart and his mindset!

What truths has God been speaking to you as you share your heart and feelings with him?

Linking up with some of these lovely link parties!

P.S. Thank you to all those who entered the giveaway! I had a blast doing it and congratulations to Rachel P.!!!