It's okay to tell God how you are feeling about motherhood

Friday, September 18, 2015


The past couple of months we have had one sickness after the other. Just when I thought it was safe to take a deep breath of relief we would get struck again. One of the hard things about having a big family is that once one child gets sick, the rest usually follow suit.

Not only did ALL the kids get the stomach bug, but Josh and I did also. That was a doozy. It looked like we were living in a war zone. Sick kids lying all over the couch, towels and bowls everywhere and moaning and groaning coming from everyone. It was a sight to behold and one that I don't want to repeat any time soon.

About a week after that episode, Luke somehow got croup. He had it pretty bad, but thankfully we got him to the Dr. and on medicine. Not long after, Simeon came down with it and then Israel had a slight form of it.

I hate seeing my children sick. It breaks my heart. Even though they seem to be constantly sick, I am so thankful that they are truly very healthy children. I have to admit though that I don't like the extra long nights and crankiness that these childhood illnesses bring. I tend to get pouty when some of my well laid plans get thrown to the wayside. 

Though I have come to love being home; I also enjoy getting out, having time by myself and time to socialize with friends and family. As the kids were getting better last weekend, I was really looking forward to getting out of the house for a long run and meeting up with some of my friends. 

As I told Josh my plans, he reminded me of his...he was going hunting for the whole weekend(Fri-Mon.) He had told me ahead of time but I totally forgot. I just about crumpled to the floor in my misery. NO! It couldn't be. It was not fair. All the thoughts of how I should be the one getting away started to swirl around in my mind. But I knew Josh was really looking forward to getting away and he also needed a break after a very long week of work and being up with babies also.

As I started to give in to my feelings of frustration and mopiness; I cried (literally) out to God to help me have a better attitude. I knew I needed to get into God's word and have him transform my mindset. It's hard not to give into my emotions in that moment. It is not easy, but...

When we choose to choose joy...he enables us to experience it despite our sinful flesh and situation.

I was planning to have a big ol' pity party and wallow in misery while Josh was gone but God supernaturally lifted my gaze to his and gave me his grace to see that what I really needed wasn't time by myself, a break, quiet, relief or health...but him. 

I am so glad I opened up Gloria Furman's book "Treasuring Christ When Your Hands are Full"

This is what I read:

" When you feel desperate for relief, it's a reminder that you are desperate for God's grace."

This spoke volumes to my heart and helped transform how I was thinking and reacting. Later on I also came across Gretchen's instagram post (From Life Lived Beautifully) Here is a portion of it:

"Mary Kassian once said 'A weak woman lets her emotions drive her mind. A woman of strength makes her mind drive her emotions.' In order to drive our emotions, we have to live by what we know. This we know: God is for us, God is with us, and Christ has equipped us. "I know" statements rescue us from the downward spiral of negative feelings. Truth trumps feelings."

Oh how I needed to hear these words of truth at that moment. God is so faithful to give us the grace we need, right at the moment we need it. I want so much to grow and mature and be a better wife and mother. I know it's only by being more like my Savior that I can accomplish this. 

How has your month, week or day been?

Are you struggling to get through the day, with little ones who need you every second? 

Are you in a situation that is crippling your joy?

Have you been so busy caring for your loved ones that you are barely able to come up for air?

Are you overwhelmed by all that is on your plate?

Are you tired of giving into your emotions? 

I am right there with you!  I am such an emotional person. It is SO hard for me not to give in to my feelings. I feel things very deeply. It is a blessing and a curse. But by God's grace I am learning to lean on him and choose joy...despite my feelings.

I feel so blessed that I get to stay home with my children. I truly love it. I feel selfish and spoiled admitting how much I struggle some days when there are so many going through truly horrific and hard things in the world. But I can't pretend that I don't struggle and have hard days. I admit that I often lock myself in my room or bathroom and let those tears and emotions flow that have been pent up.

If you come away with anything from reading this, I want you to know it's okay to tell God how we are feeling, he already knows. It's okay to vent to him even if we know we are so blessed.

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? I the Lord search the heart and test the mind..." Jeremiah 17: 9-10

I always feel so much better when I have a good cry and share what I am going through with my husband or a close friend. The problem is when I let those feelings overtake me and steal my joy. It's not okay to poison our homes or others with bad attitudes and diluted perspectives.

Whatever you have been going through in motherhood... in life; know that God cares about our feelings...he created our hearts, but he has given us power through his son to fight against our fleshly feelings... that are not glorifying to him.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" Psalm 139: 23-24

God is able and is willing as we give him our hearts, to take our negative, sinful feelings and emotions and replace them with his heart and his mindset!

What truths has God been speaking to you as you share your heart and feelings with him?

Linking up with some of these lovely link parties!

P.S. Thank you to all those who entered the giveaway! I had a blast doing it and congratulations to Rachel P.!!! 

22 comments:

  1. This is so what I have been going through right now...my mind definitely needs an adjustment and I love hearing honest words about normal people going through the same thing! Thanks!

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    1. Thanks so much for commenting! After I hit the publish button I always wonder if I shared too much or said the right things. But I always come back to knowing that I have to be real here and there are many others like me who need to know they are not alone. Looking forward to keeping in touch!

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  2. This is me and has been me for a long time. A number of years ago I went through a very difficult time and I really learned the lesson of taking thoughts captive {which includes feelings!}. Though incredibly painful and lonely at the time, those lessons were so important to me. I love those moments where God really comes through and helps you move into joy in the struggle.

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    1. It's never easy but God is making us more like him through the hard days as we entrust our selves to him. Yes, it is truly amazing when he lifts our gaze and transforms our minds, because we can not do it ourselves.

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  3. Love this post, Rebekah! "Choosing to choose joy" is such a profound truth. And you are right: we cannot always do or be or act what or how we feel. In Christ, we can be more than our feelings. Hang in there, mama...many things about motherhood get easier as your sweet ones get older. NOT that you are not treasuring their young years, but you have much to look forward to as well. I remember the first time my younger daughter stood at the top of the stairs on a Sunday morning with her tights already on BECAUSE SHE HAD PUT THEM ON HERSELF. (Cue chorus of angels singing "Hallelujah" from "Messiah"! :) ) Blessings to you...stopping by from Words With Winter!

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    1. Yes, I love that!" In Christ we CAN be more then our feelings!"Ha ha yes, its amazing how the little things become such milestones. Mine are all in different stages. Its so nice to have the big ones help. I know things will change and get better in some ways but I know I'll truly miss these days when they are little so much...despite the hard days;)

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  4. Amen! Motherhood can leave us feeling depleted at times. This is a great reminder to allow truth to trump our feelings!

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  5. Lovely! I really appreciate such a concrete example of when life just naturally has us so down. Loved this --> "gave me his grace to see that what I really needed wasn't time by myself, a break, quiet, relief or health...but him." So so true! I always tell other hurting, overwhelmed, weary moms and also my kids that God isn't afraid for us to tell Him our emotions…David did this all through the Psalms. It's much heather to tell Him than to spew it all over everyone else. He can handle it, and He wants our dialogue. Coming to you from #EspressosofFaith via #MeCoffeeJesus!

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  6. Goodness, I love that Mary Kassian quote! Thanks for this post which brings back so many memories of sick babies -- all at once!

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  7. This is so wonderful and it's just what I needed. Thank you so much for sharing and being open about this!

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    1. I'm so happy that God used this post to encourage you!

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  8. I'm pretty much in awe of this God who invites us to unburden ourselves on Him completely, in a way that means we can be raw and unfiltered. I suspect that's what made David a "man after God's own heart." He was always completely open with God, never hesitating to reveal the good, the bad, and the ugly. Though God already knows us, He wants us to share our everything with Him. Thank you for linking with us at Grace & Truth!

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  9. Oh my how I love this! Thank you so much for sharing and linking up! There are so many times I just want to give myself a good ol' pity party and think that I deserve the break more than someone else. "When we choose to choose joy...he enables us to experience it despite our sinful flesh and situation." Thank you for this, just what I needed. Blessings to you, mama!

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  10. Hi, I love how we can find books to inspire us in our day-to-day living. I hope you can share this post on Literacy Musing Mondays this week. It really is great and I learned about some new authors and helpful books. Here is this week's link:
    http://maryanderingcreatively.com/literacy-musing-braille-reading-journey/

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  11. This is also a reminder that we need God.

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  13. Being a mother with little ones can be so rewarding, yet so exhausting at the same time... I only have two, but I've definitely been in that place where I needed to cry out to God for strength. Thank you for your openness and for reminding us moms that we have an all-powerful, strength-giving Creator on our side! :)

    Alyssa (visiting from Faith and Fellowship)

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  14. "I am such an emotional person. It is SO hard for me not to give in to my feelings. I feel things very deeply. It is a blessing and a curse. But by God's grace I am learning to lean on him and choose joy...despite my feelings." Yes, sister! :) Choosing joy. Not giving into or being a slave to feelings. And, "my feelings do not affect God's facts" (Amy Carmichael). Thank you for hitting me right where I live...in a good way! Stopping by from #WordsWithWinter.

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  15. Oh man- that quote... that when we're desperate for relief, it's a reminder that you're desperate for grace.

    I feel like I've been living that hard this month. So many things out of control and falling apart- and it's a perfect reminder that I just can't do it on my own, and that I need Him every hour (and every minute, and every second!)

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  16. Thank you for communicating this freedom, it's so needed in this culture! I specifically needed it this week too. Thanks for linking this up with us at Grace & Truth. I like this so much that I'm going to feature it for tomorrow's new round of the link-up! Be sure to come grab your "I've Been Featured" button tomorrow. :)

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  17. This is such a good post and one I desperately needed to read, for so many reasons. Thank you SO much for sharing your heart and perspective in this post, I truly appreciate it.

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