You would think being with child for 9 months and it being my 5th that I would be ready for this big event but in truth the reality quite hasn't hit me yet that I am about to bring another life into this world.
It is such a miracle and even though I am not new to this it is still mind boggling to think that I am going to be holding a brand new life in my arms very soon.
Last week I started getting contractions and cramping all day... what was this? Wait... I am not ready... this baby can't come yet!! I still have so much to do!! I haven't even washed the baby clothes, gotten a car seat, got the bassinet out, cleaned the house, packed my bags...etc...etc.
How did this happen?!
I have been so busy with homeschooling, caring for the house and kids, helping my widowed and practically blind mother, other everyday responsibilities and functions that it has slowly snuck up on me with out my being aware.
I quickly found myself praying that I wouldn't have the baby early! Quite the opposite of what I usually pray!
Being so busy has helped to keep my mind off worrying how I am going to mother and have the strength to care for 5 children in a 2 bedroom house, but I hate feeling unprepared!!
With the new realization that this baby was coming and I wouldn't be pregnant forever I became completely engrossed in getting everything ready or in other words.... I became a crazy person!!
I always feel better and can think more clearly when my house is clean and in order. I can usually let things go when I have to and not get too stressed, knowing the messes can usually wait and that other more important things can't. But with nesting mode upon me, everything HAS to be clean and organized or I CAN NOT rest!
I have been continually warning my children and apologizing for my neurotic and obsessive behavior.
"Sorry kids, Mommy is just going through a little time where EVERYTHING HAS to be clean!! You CAN NOT make any messes...no dirt, no spilling, no leaving clothes and toys on the floor... you have to be perfect!!!"
Needless to say this is impossible for these very normal kids but I have to say they have been as helpful as they can. They might wonder what happened to their mother and who this strange, deranged cleaning freak is but I am thankful they are so forgiving and still manage to love me despite my insanity.
Its crazy how I don't notice the dust and dirt that has been collecting for years and then all of a sudden not be able to sleep because I am thinking about the dust bunnies under my bed, the food on the wall, my unorganized closets, and gunky refrigerator.
With most of my to do list accomplished I have to say I am feeling much better and can finally breathe a little better with many of them crossed off. Though this transformation in me has been quite drastic I believe it is a God given instinct that comes with the territory of being a mother... and I am actually thankful for it.
It feels so good to be prepared and not caught off guard!
This time in my pregnancy always reminds me of this scripture:
No one knows the day or the hour not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Be on your guard! Be alert! You do not know when the time will come." Mark 13:32-33
I know a lot of women have scheduled inductions and c- sections where they know when their baby is coming. I have been blessed to go into labor naturally which means I don't know until its time. Just as I want to be ready for the arrival of my baby I want to be ready for Jesus' return.
I want my heart and my life to be always prepared to welcome my king and savior as well as this baby!
Do you go through a crazy nesting phase when you are ready to have a baby?
Is your heart prepared for the return of Jesus? Are you ready to welcome the Messiah when he comes?