Seeing the Blessings through the Mess

I have been in a bit of a funk lately, feeling sorry for myself and mostly just being negative:

 Poor little ol' me, Why are there so many dishes in the sink? I just did them!... What! There is laundry in the basket? I just emptied it! I want to go to sleep and the baby is no where near sleepy....arghhhh! I just mopped the floor and there is dirt and food all over it!...uggghhh! Owww!... is that a lego I stepped on? I just told the boys to clean them up.  I want to go do something fun but what can I do?... I am tired of doing the same thing over and over again. I am frustrated with having to keep fighting my flesh! Why won't it just die!!!?? Why won't God take away the thorn in my flesh? Don't try to make me feel happy...  I know how blessed I am but can't you see I am having a little pity party!?

Yeah, I know I sound pretty pathetic. The truth is I am just plain selfish and self-consumed. Each year I realize  more and more how selfish and spoiled I really am. (I am also pregnant and notice I am extra hormonal right now and I know the devil would like to get a foothold where he sees an opening). I like to think of myself as a generally joyful, content and unselfish person but when I start dwelling on myself I realize this just isn't so,I am very easily persuaded into feeling sorry for myself. It's so easy to just get into a slump. Once I start getting negative about one thing it turns into another until it starts snowballing into mountain of negativity.

I find the best way to fight negativity is with thankfulness. I have to choose each day to be thankful;to see the good in everything; to know that God has the little and the big struggles in my life in his hands; I can trust him. He has given me a future and a hope! What have I to fear, what have I to complain about?

I can think of many people who are going through real times of struggle, pain and sorrow. I have gone through my fair share of struggle, pain and sorrow as well but I know I am so blessed here on earth.  I have a wonderful marriage, a comfortable home, healthy, sweet children, friends and family and most importantly I have the hope of heaven!

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in ALL circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

The more I focus on God and his blessings the more I am able to see and think clearly and get my mind off myself. The problem isn't all the little and big things that get to me....it's me. I can find a million things to be negative about, that's easy, but God calls me to be joyful in ALL things...that's where it gets hard. I need his grace his strength. As I fix my eyes on him and off myself, he changes my perspective and my whole attitude, to see the blessings through all the trials, and draws me closer to him through them.

Whenever you look inward you will see what you want to see, but when you look at God you will see what he want's you to see.

Yes, we all go through our times of despair and negativity, but we don't have to stay there. We can determine to live a life of joy and thankfulness. I am not talking about being fake but about being real. Being honest about how we feel and being willing to take our complaint's our frustrations to the Lord and ask him to give us a right heart, a right attitude. He knows how wretched we are...he made us! He know's our hearts better then ourselves.

"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" Jeremiah 17:9

I was having one of my pity parties last year and God spoke to me and showed me how much I truly have to be thankful for even in the things I was complaining about. As I started to look at things with a thankful heart, I became overwhelmed by how much God had blessed me with and how he has answered so many of my prayers and given me so many of my heart's desires.

I wrote this poem as my vision was transformed, I hope it encourages you to see the blessings through the mess!!

  A FULL HOUSE

 Heaps of laundry everywhere

 Dirty dishes piled high
 But we are never lacking clothes to wear

 Our tummies are always satisfied

 Sometimes our living space is cramped

 It’s hard to find a place to sit

 But our rooms are filled with love and laughter

 More than we can fit

At times it’s difficult to get any rest
Or find a quiet place
The playful noise of children fills the air

Loneliness is a problem we never have to face

 Runny noses are commonplace

 Bruises and scrapes abound

 But kisses always make them better

 We are blessed with health all around

  Daddy comes in with a trail of dirt

  Following him throughout the house

  Happy faces also tag along behind

  So glad the kids have a loving father

  And I a faithful spouse

 Size really doesn't matter after all

 As long as we are have love

 For when these bodies and our house turns to dust

 We have made a deposit for our dream house… 
 Being built in a city up above